Posted at May 30, 2014 5:22 pm
Imagine you have about a week and a half to do another round of revisions on your current book and it warrants going through the entire book (not just a few pages), and you’ve spent two days struggling over one freaking scene only to realize it doesn’t work. Now imagine its 1:00 am and you’ve just hit the delete key on three entire pages of blood, sweat, and tears. Now imagine a plane suddenly buzzing your house while flying so low it makes everything in the room rattle and it sounds like it’s about to crash into your house. Imagine that plane coming back for another buzz. Imagine walking out of your house as the plane returns for yet another flyover and see through the darkness that the plane is so low it’s barely missing the roof of your barn.
Can you visualize that yet? Ok, now imagine calling 911 because WTF is going on? Imagine telling the nice dispatch guy the story, knowing all the while there really wasn’t a darned thing the police could do because the flying cars The Jetsons promised us still haven’t happened. Imagine the nice dispatch guy chuckling under his breath because he’s sitting in a nice office building and doesn’t have a freaking plane trying to land on his house!
Imagine taking the situation in your own hands—or camera—snapping a few videos and realizing that it’s an effing crop dusting plane at 1:00 am! This event went on for a full freaking hour. I was exhausted after the emotional letdown of hitting the delete key on my revisions. I’d been working since 7:00 am and I wanted to go to bed. But noooooo. Crop dusting guy was bound and determined to scare the spit out of me and I was too petrified to go to bed. You know, these guys do have quite the history of crashing, right? Bedtime didn’t happen until 2:30 when I was sure I wasn’t going to have a plane busting through my roof. I’ve lived here for 20 years and I’ve seen plenty of crop dusting, but never in the middle of the night!
Note to crop dusting guy: yeah, I know you were just doing your job. But seriously? At 1:00 am? How about next time you save those mad flying skills for daylight where I can keep an eye on you. And perhaps flip you the bird when you choose to buzz my normally peaceful abode.
That is all.